Sunday, June 26, 2011

Time for a change, or change comes with time?

So were here...well we've been here for a week Monday. Its hot and muggy. 'Nuff said? The rain helps bring the temperature down but with that comes even more mugginess. BLEH! The trip went fairly smoothly. I had slight coronaries with the amount of times we had to stop and  fuel up. It was a pleasant surprise though that the farther away from CO the more the gas prices dropped. The gas station sign right by our house reads 3.19 for regular. I wonder what the prices are doing back home? Here they have been dropping, when we got here they were 3.30. I'm quickly learning my way around but its just weird being here. Its weird that I can't just drive to my moms house for a visit and that there aren't any mountains here.=[ [Now for a small session of Kids Say the Darnedest Things. Landon was asking me before we moved if once we moved there we could go muddin and 4wheeling. I told him that there wasn't really any mountains there and he replied. WHAT?!!? No mountains. Ught uhhh I am NOT going to live in a place without mountains! Are they broken or something?]

2100sqft of loveliness is what I call my new home. Its seriously gorgeous. The only things that need to be done are reviving some of the law and kicking some cactus to thee curb. Aren't you jealous? Leaving them would be an accident waiting to happen between the dogs and kiddos. I hear you can send them in to shock and kill them by giving them too much water. Can you believe that? Made me giggle.

What else is new? Not too much. Can't wait for JPPSO to bring all of our stuff so we can start making the house a home and for Brian to sign in and get SRP over with so we can get our moving allowance. Guess what we get to spend our money on?! No no nothing exotic nor overly fun. Drum roll please....washer, dryer, and fridge since that's what our house is lacking. That is where my OCD came in handy. I refused to move  until all the laundry was washed and dryed. Granted that wont help with our food cooling needs but that's where Rentacenter helps. Oh well at least after all this I will have them paid off and mine for ever and ever and everrr!!!

Oh oh oh!!! Brian made points! Can you say Sergeant Ingraldi??! Well that's all for now. I hope everyone back home is doing well. As soon as I have updates on the baby I'll post.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Life isn't always beautiful, sigh.

So yeah. I have become acutely aware of this of late. I don't know if its the stress of the 2 moves (to my mom's house and then to GA on the 17th) but seriously I feel so drained and disconnected. I feel like I really don't have anyone to talk to and all I really need is just to a cry-fest. Just let all the frustrations and stress out without judgement. I don't know what's changed between us. He would rather be on his phone playing stupid shit or searching for shit he doesn't need on Craigslist. I try to talk and all that results is shit getting blamed on hormones or that I am personally attacking him. I can sit right next to him and not even get acknowledged. It feels like the only time I get to feel like I'm something, like I am in part of a relationship is when we're around certain people. I don't know whats changed? It just makes me so mad. I have always been one of those people that you can't just say I love you too or buy things for me to feel loved, I need the physical attention. I know that makes me needier then others and in turn more difficult to be with. I try so hard to show everyone that mean anything to me that they are cared for and loved and wanted. Maybe I am setting my boys up for failure with that notion that the only they are loved is if someone shows them love in that particular way but its the only I know. As for the move, I realize that's what comes with when you are with a military man but damnit I would love to hear something other then that as a response when someone asks me how I feel about moving. I'm hoping that after all the stressers are resolved that things might go back to some sort of normalcy.

Promises of tomorrow don't always get you through tonight.